Things I have learned since moving to Des Moines
Thanks Zach for inspiring this entry
In Des Moines (or Iowa for that matter)
1. It is perfectly fine to stop at the end of an on-ramp.
2. Just because someone has a car doesn't mean they know how to operate it.
3. God forgot Iowa about 78% of the way through the evolutionary process (they got to opposable thumbs but using tools still evades them)
4. You can buy beer at Grocery stores and some drug stores... nothing goes with Percocet like Busch light.
5. Convicted pedophiles cannot live in the city limits but murderers can.
6. The Governor runs by my apartment everyday... very slowly.
7. I can run faster than the Governor and have passed him more than once while running.
8. The Governor does not like to talk politics, baseball, weather, economics, nor fashion trends while he is running.
9. Corn-fed does mean bigger.
10. 2 inches of snow is enough to cancel every school in a 50 mile radius except for mine.
In Des Moines (or Iowa for that matter)
1. It is perfectly fine to stop at the end of an on-ramp.
2. Just because someone has a car doesn't mean they know how to operate it.
3. God forgot Iowa about 78% of the way through the evolutionary process (they got to opposable thumbs but using tools still evades them)
4. You can buy beer at Grocery stores and some drug stores... nothing goes with Percocet like Busch light.
5. Convicted pedophiles cannot live in the city limits but murderers can.
6. The Governor runs by my apartment everyday... very slowly.
7. I can run faster than the Governor and have passed him more than once while running.
8. The Governor does not like to talk politics, baseball, weather, economics, nor fashion trends while he is running.
9. Corn-fed does mean bigger.
10. 2 inches of snow is enough to cancel every school in a 50 mile radius except for mine.
posted by Dusty at 9:16 PM
3 Comments:
I used to live near Iowa (10 min) so here is another one:
11. The bigger the truck, the cooler you are. In fact, all standard hick rules apply in the midwest.
Also a good point.
Another thing I've learned is that the Iowa- Iowa State football game is the single most important event of the year.
Stores close down and other stations carry re-runs of crappy shows that no one watched the first time around and the streets are literally empty.
Yeah, I need a different forum than Whitey's same article (he needs to update that crap). Last time I checked, he didn't brew a damn thing while we lived in that house on St. Clair. The only homme brew I had was Nate's dad's beer. I think Whitey's "home brew" concoction was mixing rum with coke; not braggable at all...
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