Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Hooters vs Prudes

Many people around this great country of ours have at least once had the pleasure of walking into a Hooter's Restaurant and enjoying the tasty hot wings while sipping on a cold beer.

Hooter's wants to bring their Delightfully Tacky yet unrefined approach to the "Block E" section of downtown Minneapolis. Apparently Blocks A-D fizzled out...

A local feminazi, Colleen Barry, is opposed to the idea saying "Since they built Block E based on getting some drugs and some not-good stuff out of this area, why put it back in?"

Yes, Colleen, Hooters sells cocaine and meth and if you tip your waitress well, you might even score some Extasy.

What Hooters has this woman been to? I've only been to 3 different Hooters' and I was never offered drugs... do I not look cool enough?

What exactly is the "not-good stuff" she wishes to keep out of this area? Good looking women? Great hot wings? People who want to eat good food? Beer? A restaurant that will draw people in who will likely look at other shops and but stuff while they are there?

Lets look at the "Good stuff" that is currently in "Block E":

Jewel Spa- women come and strip down to next to nothing and allow people they have never met to touch them all over... and you're worried about Hooters' girls being scantily clad?

Panchero's Mexican Grill: Immitation Chipotle that isn't even close...Panchero's should be banned from existence and Chipotle's should be built in all of their current locations

Escape Ultra Lounge: A bar/nightclub that looks like it was designed by and for people tripping on Extasy.

The Shout House: Another place that serves alcohol as their primary means of income... at least Hooters sells food!

Starbucks': The very symbol of everything that is wrong with America

Cold Stone Creamery: A place that sells icecream so fattening they won't even let you see the calorie or fat content.



Summery: Hooter's won't be bringing alcohol into Block E, it already flows there freely. Hooters' won't be immitating any superior restaurants (Panchero's seriously sucks a lot, doesn't even compare to Chipotle who I recently e-mailed about opening a store in Des Moines), they won't be producing 1000+ calorie ice cream bowls, and they won't be selling overpriced over-caffinated drinks to hippies.

I guess this means the only thing new Hooters' is bringing to Block E is scantily clad attractive women... because as we all know, there aren't any drunk hoochies wearing miniskirts at a night club called the Escape Ultra Lounge.

I think Colleen is just jealous... damn Feminazi!

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dusty,

Does your lovely wife wear a mini-skirt on occasion? Careful son you are walking on thin ice...

7:47 PM  
Blogger Dusty said...

No, she doesn't have one. Thanks for trying.

I'm not walking on thin ice, you're 0-2, care to make another claim and complete the strikeout?

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with your blog, Dusty, but Mari sucks.

2:22 PM  
Blogger Dusty said...

Good point anonymous, he does suck in deed.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks guys.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the hell is that viagra plug? freakin advertisement? it's like some stranger jumping in your conversation about how much mari sucks and saying "guess what, i've got some info about viagra..." oh wait...

2:10 PM  
Blogger Dusty said...

Which would be why I deleted it.

If anyone wants viagra, they have too go see their damn doctor. Mail order erections are busch league!

4:36 PM  

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